Act Like You’ve Been There: Faces of Death Edition

So earlier this year Stephen Tulloch, linebacker, Detroit Lions, blew out his knee celebrating a sack of Aaron Rodgers.

Stupid. Pointless. Painful.

However…. NOT as bad as THIS GUY.


Holy, gawd.

Let it be said forever: “Act like you’ve been there…”


Now That’s Some Good Coachin’!

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So what if Winston has already won a National Championship and Heisman Trophy? It doesn’t mean ol’ Jimbo Fisher actually trusts his starting QB to act appropriately after a big win.

Coach ‘em up, Jimbo. Coach ‘em up.

“Now here’s what you’ve got to do. Calm down. Don’t give them that over-exuberant look. Act very passive right here and get people back on your side. You understand what I’m telling you? Humble. Humble pie.”

Jay From Ashburn on Line 6

NFL coaches are the first ones to remind us fans “You know quarterbacks get too much credit, and take too much of the blame” yet they are also the last ones to actually remember that truth.

With that… we go to “Jay in Ashburn on line six. Go ahead, Jay…”

“Uh yeah… I think if we’re behind by a lot on Sunday at home against the Titans, like, say 4 points… then if Kirk Cousins has thrown a pick in the first half, we should yank him and try Colt McCoy. I’ll hang up and listen to your answer from the sidelines… uh… I mean.. off the air.”

Jesus. Facepalm. Christ.

What.. are… we… doing… now??

Sure. They won the game. Whoopity do. Too bad Jay Gruden has also lost his mind. The “Kirk Jerks” will now yield to the “Colt Dolts” in RedskinsLandUSA.

We are right back into the whole Rex-Beck-McNabb “Unholy Trinity of Quarterbacks” dynamic. Or worse yet, the “Patrick-Shane-Danny” era. You know, those times when your delusional or clueless coach just rifles through the QB depth chart looking for the football equivalent of a pair of lucky socks.

When you have two starting quarterbacks, you have none. When you have three starting quarterbacks, you have a clownshow.

McCoy had as much to do with that win as the janitor at the White House had to do with killing Osama bin Laden.

The Titans incompetence was never more evident than when Ken Whisenhunt decided that he could just “run out the clock” with 5:32 left in the game from his own 33. A holding penalty on 1st down made it 1st and 20, and yet he still RAN it 3 times and punted.

That’s not exactly trying to WIN the game, now is it? It was an insult to the Redskins offense that he would gladly take his chances with a defense that had let Pierre Garcon take a 6-yard hitch and turn it 70 yards for a touchdown less than 3 feet from the boundary past his entire secondary.


So now what? What?

Colt at Dallas? Monday Night Football? Ridiculous. But here we are.

Shame on this coaching staff for having such little willingness to stick with it on Cousins. The guy is a 62% passer with an 86.4 rating this season. He’s had three full games with a rating over 100. He doesn’t suck. His picks have come in bunches, and they are troubling. But still…

Did you really think the Redskins couldn’t win the game with him in the second half?

Its like all the  “plus” plays Kirk made (the scrambling dime to a streaking Niles Paul to start the game, to name just one) didn’t happen in Jay Gruden’s mind. I get it that Cousins may be pressing, or shellshocked, or whatever.

SO COACH HIM THROUGH IT! That’s what you are paid to do! I was led to believe that your experience as a pro quarterback yourself (albeit, an Arena League slappy) was a main selling point in getting this job.

Kirk’s struggling? Okay. RUN THE BALL MORE! Or maybe, dial up that same Garcon 6-yard hitch for HIM to start the second half, and just SEE WHAT HAPPENS!

This was a mindless move by a coach who already seems to be swimming well out of his depth. And sadly, I fear this is merely the undercard bout anyhow.

The big show is going to be handling RG3’s return from injury. How soon? How much? What kind of plays?

I am already pessimistic about Gruden’s ability to manage difficult personalities like Griffin. When your coach says things like “as long as he doesn’t make the catastrophic mistake and make it about himself more than about the team, you’ve got a chance” …. I cringe. And shake my head.

“Make it all about HIMSELF?” “You’ve got A CHANCE?”

Is it possible Griffin’s improvisation is merely part of a young QB trying to figure out how to play the game? Could you deliver these messages in private, so as not to devalue the kid’s stature with the fanbase, the league, and his fellow players?

Did my head coach just SAY that to a reporter on the record? What in the bloody hell good will THAT for anybody?

Gruden has now burnt one quarterback’s confidence down to the ground, is publicly doubting his other one, and may just start a guy whose last touchdown prior to Sunday was two different teams ago, in December of 2012.

Jay Gruden may indeed have excellent people skills, and a well thought out plan.

But this looks like panic.


Percy Harvin Trade Is Pete Carroll’s Ultimate “October Surprise”

At last check, I have 3,154,000 fewer twitter followers than Adam Schefter. I do not approach his “tireless work ethic” when it comes to covering the NFL. (Hell, I even took a NAP during this post!) I do not have the “bully pulpit” of ESPN, and I am certainly not the “most prolific news breaker in America’s most popular sport.”

And yet…. even I KNEW about the jaw-dropping Percy Harvin trade on Friday, at exactly the same time Mr. Schefter did.

When Jay Glazer of Fox tweeted it out.

So much for this quote about Schefter “knowing everything…”

From a media standpoint, the NFL is covered unlike anything else in American sport, and somehow Schefter’s reporting rises above the din. He’s perfected the formula perhaps better than any NFL reporter who’s ever preceded him: a tireless work ethic, the bully pulpit of ESPN and the leveraging of information from sources as a commodity to get more from others.

“He’s crucial because he basically has become sort of this omnipresent guy who seems to know everything,” said Peter King, the veteran Sports Illustrated writer and proprietor of the site “And if he doesn’t know everything, it takes him only 10 minutes to find out what he doesn’t know.”

Now look, this is not a slam on Schefter – per se – but rather another reminder that the whole notion of NFL “Insiders” is a complete joke. How can a bombshell trade like this, fall out of the sky without ANY one of the so-called “insiders” ferreting out smoke signals along the way that something was terribly amiss with Harvin and the Seahawk locker-room?

Even Glazer – who nominally gets “credit” for the “scoop” – didn’t so much “break” this story, as he just beat the official NFL transaction wire by about 30 minutes.

Full credit to Pete Carroll and John Schneider for keeping tight “operational security” around their locker-room. It’s a far cry from several grumpy 49ers running to Uncle Prime Time to air their petty greivances with Jim Harbaugh. But that said, these are the kind of things that the “Insiders” like to claim they hear about and know about.

Maybe they DID have a bead on this Harvin trade, but were afraid to move on it? Maybe they were protecting future access to the Seahawk locker-room. Maybe ol’ Gum Chompin’ Pete is such a charmer, that he convinced somebody to “sit on” the deal, in order not to scuttle it?

Who knows. But so much for all these guys with their cell phones tucked under their pillows, double-fisting their iPhones and blackberries while riding in town cars to and from the TV studio. Nobody heard nuthin’, saw nuthin’, or suspected nuthin’ until the Seahawks had hung up the phone with Idzik and the Jets and said “deal!”

It needs to be noted that I don’t necessarily NEED to have these things broken like the Watergate scandal when it comes to my enjoyment of the NFL. In reality, the full truth comes out eventually, on it’s own time frame. Sometimes it takes years.

I just laugh when the Mort’s, Glazer’s, and Schefter’s of the NFL media world get lauded like oracles of league information.

They’re not. And the Percy Harvin story should put that to rest for good.

“Back to you… Boom…”

“Crazy Is A Big Part of Football….”

But at least Roy gives credit to Eagles fans who have come a long way from stealing a guy’s prosthetic leg, beating him senseless with it, and then using it as firewood.

Here was our weekly visit on radio….




Jay: [to Andy, in a bar] All you got to do is use your instincts. How do you think a lion knows to tackle a gazelle? It’s written, it’s a code written in his DNA, says, “Tackle the gazelle.” And believe it or not, in every man there’s a code written that says, “Tackle drunk bitches.”

- “40 Year Old Virgin” (2005)

the GIF

I am… the man! OOOH, OWWW.. AHHH!! MY KNEE!!